Subject: We Build Identity by Our Words
by Rick Welborne
Matthew 15:10-20 (NKJV)
10 When He had called the multitude to Himself, He said to them, "Hear and understand:
11 Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man."
12 Then His disciples came and said to Him, "Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?"
13 But He answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted.
14 Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch."
15 Then Peter answered and said to Him, "Explain this parable to us."
16 So Jesus said, "Are you also still without understanding?
17 Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated?
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
20 These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man."
10 When He had called the multitude to Himself, He said to them, "Hear and understand:
11 Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man."
12 Then His disciples came and said to Him, "Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?"
13 But He answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted.
14 Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch."
15 Then Peter answered and said to Him, "Explain this parable to us."
16 So Jesus said, "Are you also still without understanding?
17 Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated?
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
20 These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man."
--Today we are continuing our series on identity theft…last week we talked about what Joshua said “As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
--I hope you have made that a declaration over your life and over your family…lead the way and model the way. It is easier when it is lived out before them.
--Jesus kept dealing with me about this subject I am speaking about today…Our words and the impact that they have on those we speak to.
--Jesus was explaining to the disciples and the Pharisees how important it is about the words that come out of our mouths because they are an indicator of what is in our hearts.
--Just listen to people speak and it won’t take you long to figure out what is in their heart…whatever they love or hate will eventually come bubbling out like a geyser.
--If they love golf, tennis, fishing, hunting, basketball, shopping, precious moments, the beach, FB, or whatever, it will come out. If it is sin, that too will come out.
--Of course, there can be those professionals who have learned to talk about whatever at the right place, at the right time…keep listening though, eventually that junk will surface. Good stuff will surface also.
--Don’t you love to be around people who are truly filled with Holy Spirit and the love of Jesus, blessings and kindness just flow from them…we leave them feeling uplifted and blessed.
--You see, a person is identified by what is in his heart and what comes out of his mouth…19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
--Here is where I am heading today and we all need to hear this…it is sad that all these words identify the person they are coming out of, but it also attaches identity to those who hear them.
--What you say, how you say it, and to whom you are saying it, has great consequences for either good or for evil. You are either building people or tearing them down.
Proverbs 18:20-21 (NLT)
20 Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.
21 The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
20 Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.
21 The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
--There is probably not a person in this room who could not immediately bring up hurtful words that have been spoken to them, and for some it could have been ten, twenty, or thirty years ago…maybe longer.
--What comes out of your mouth is either building for good someone’s identity or tearing down someone’s identity…we must be careful how we use our words.
1. We attach identity by what we say.
--We always told our oldest son to be careful what he would say around his younger brother because younger brothers are influenced easily. We told both of our sons to be careful around their sister. We still do.
--Words matter, and people we have influence over are listening…listen to proverbs:
Proverbs 12:18 (NLT)
18 Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
18 Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
Proverbs 12:18 (NKJV)
18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.
18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.
--Can we be transparent today? Words matter…what we say to our kids matter…what we say to our spouses matter…what we say to our brothers and sisters matter…what we say to the lost matters.
--As I stated earlier, there is not a person in this room who could not immediately bring up hurtful things that have been spoken to you or about you.
--Words matter to everyone because they define our identity…words even mattered to Jesus.
Matthew 16:13-17 (NKJV)
13 When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, "Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?"
14 So they said, "Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets."
15 He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"
16 Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."
17 Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.
13 When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, "Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?"
14 So they said, "Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets."
15 He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"
16 Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."
17 Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.
--How powerful is this…Jesus wanted to know what people were saying about Him and more importantly He wanted to know what those who were the closest to Him were saying…He was blessed by Peter’s answer.
--What identity are you placing on those around you with your words…our children are so easily identified by what we say to them. Are you cursing them or are you blessing them? Choose to bless!
1 Peter 3:8-10 (NLT)
8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.
9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.
10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.
8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.
9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.
10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.
--I give many examples of what my parents said to me and how that formed who I was as a teenager and a young adult…when you say “you will never amount to anything” your kids will not disappoint you.
--Years ago I took a new pastor under my wings and embraced him as a dear friend…ate, played tennis, and hung out together…let him preach here, blessed him financially to start his church. Two years go by.
--One day I saw him hanging out with some of my sheep…I asked him about it and his words pierced my soul.
“I am coming after your people, especially those who have money.” Took 6 or 7 families…I was so hurt.
Psalm 55:12-14 (NLT)
12 It is not an enemy who taunts me— I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me— I could have hidden from them.
13 Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend.
14 What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.
12 It is not an enemy who taunts me— I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me— I could have hidden from them.
13 Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend.
14 What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.
--Of course, my flesh wanted to lay hands on him…one day driving by his church…God asked me if I wanted Him to bless me…I knew it was a trick question…of course, Lord, I want you to bless me.
--Pray for him and his church every day! Sure, I will pray a sinkhole opens up under him and You can swallow him up. Finally, I agreed to obey God…It was a turning point in my ministry…God brought many back – more.
2. We attach identity and hope by what we say.
--God must have wanted me to really feel this sermon today…it was tough for me to re-live many things in my life that was so hurtful and some that were life changing.
--When I was in Bible College in Texas I was still young and very impulsive…I lived a life of reaction not of intention…what I am saying is that I did many stupid things and made really bad decisions.
--My circle of friends, at that time, all went to college and we all went to the same church…as usual, I thought we were very close until I really went thru one of the major trials of my life…I was devastated.
--Because my friends did not have all the facts of my situation, they began to make judgments based on what they thought they knew…Mat. 18 evidently was not on their radar. They began to crush me with their words.
--I was in Bible College but had only been a Christian for two years…I was just a little naïve about how brothers and sisters could treat each other…I needed help but received painful remarks.
--I was working at Central Freight Lines with many of these friends and we were at work one night and I was at a point of breaking…my spirit was crushed within me. Then this country boy shows up…Keith.
--Keith was a big strong man but when he came in my trailer that night I could see the tears in his eyes and the compassion on his face…He was genuinely concerned for me because he had heard the junk.
--All he said was, “Rick, I don’t know what is going on but I know God loves you and everything is going to be alright.” Then he prayed, “God help my friend.” Then he turned and walked away.
--It was as if Jesus Himself had walked into my trailer that night and said those words…I grabbed hold of what he said and his words carried me through.
Proverbs 15:1-2 (NKJV)
1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.
1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.
--Did everything change that night in my situation…no! But something changed in me…every time the devil would bring up hurtful words I would repeat Keith’s words…God loves me and everything is going to be …!
--His soft answer…his kind heart…his healing words turned all the wrath away.
Proverbs 15:4 (NLT)
4 Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
4 Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
3. Let’s build identity into those with whom we have relationship.
Proverbs 15:23 (NIV)
23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word!
23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word!
--How awesome is it to walk in Holy Spirit and hear Him say tell this person this or that. That one word…your influence can identify or re-identify that person for a lifetime…could be there salvation.
--You don’t know that person’s life…you don’t know what had been spoken over him by those he or she trusted. They are wounded and many have lost their way…they have lost who they are.
--It could be your spouse who is wounded by years of hurtful words…children who were constantly told who they were not instead of who they were. We need to measure our words so carefully. Jesus said:
Matthew 12:36-37 (NIV)
36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.
37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.
37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
--I truly believe there will need to be repentance by pretty much all of us for using careless words…we may even need to confess to those we have hurt…that we are TRULY sorry!
2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)
10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
Proverbs 18:21-22 (NKJV)
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.
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