Boundaries – 8
Subject – Laws of Boundaries
by Rick Welborne
Galatians 6:1-8 (NKJV)
1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
--Last week we talked about three laws of boundaries. We looked at these laws:
The Law of Respect
Cloud and Townsend – We need to respect the boundaries of others. We need to love the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. We need to treat their boundaries the way we want them to treat ours. If we love and respect people who tell us no, they will love and respect our no. Freedom begets freedom.
The Law of Motivation
--We looked at these fears and motives last week.
A. Fear of loss of love, or abandonment.
Cloud and Townsend - People who say yes and then resent saying yes fear losing someone’s love. This is the dominant motive of martyrs. They give, to get love, and when they don’t get it, they feel abandoned.
B. Fear of other’s anger.
C. Fear of loneliness.
D. Fear of losing the “good me” inside.
E. Guilt.
F. Payback.
G. Approval
Cloud and Bounds – The Law of Motivation says this: Freedom first, service second. If you serve to get free of your fear, you are doomed to failure. Let God work on the fears, resolve them, and create some healthy boundaries to guard the freedom you were called to.
The Law of Evaluation.
Cloud and Townsend – We need to evaluate the pain our confrontation causes other people. We need to see how this hurt is helpful to others and sometimes the best thing that we can do for them and the relationship. We need to evaluate the pain in a positive light.
--Today we will look at the last three of these laws:
1. The Law of Envy
James 4:1-2 (NLT2)
1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?
2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.
1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?
2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.
--So what does envy have to do with boundaries. Envy was introduced by Satan himself when he desired to be like God or envied Him. He went on to tempt Adam and Eve with the same sin.
--Evidently Adam and Eve were not happy with who they were and what they had so they wanted what they could not have and it destroyed them. That is what envy does.
Cloud and Townsend – Envy defines “good” as “what I do not possess,” and hates the good it has. How many times have you heard someone subtly put down the accomplishments of others, somehow robbing them of the goodness they had attained? We all have envious parts to our personalities. But what is so destructive about this particular sin is that it guarantees that we will not get what we want and keeps us perpetually insatiable and dissatisfied.
--Please understand that this is not to say that it is wrong to desire things we do not have…God said He would give us the desires of our heart. The problem with envy is that it operates outside our boundaries, onto others.
--If we are focusing on what others have or have accomplished, we are neglecting our own responsibilities and will eventually have an empty heart.
Galatians 6:4-5 (NIV)
4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else,
5 for each one should carry his own load.
4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else,
5 for each one should carry his own load.
--Envy is a self-perpetuating cycle. People without boundaries feel empty and unfulfilled. They look at another’s sense of fullness and feel envious.
--They need to take this time and energy that they have spent on envying what someone else has and do something about it. Taking action is the only way out. Example of my triceps.
--You have not because you ask not and the Bible adds because you work not. We not only envy people’s possessions and accomplishments but we envy other’s gifts, talents, personalities, and even character.
Romans 12:6-8 (NIV)
6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.
7 If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach;
8 if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.
7 If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach;
8 if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
--I have watched for years’ people who envy those in the church who have close relationships with others and often accuse them of being cliquish. I try to investigate.
--You usually find out the person who says this comes in late, leaves early, does not go to fellowships or connect groups, and they go home wondering why people are so unfriendly…hello!
--Your envy should be a sign to you that you are lacking something. At that moment, you should ask God to help you understand your resentment, why you don’t have what you want, and whether you should have it.
--Maybe he or she is married and you should move on. Ask God for His plan or path to get you where you want to be or realize you need to just give up the desire and move on.
2. The Law of Activity
Cloud and Townsend – Human beings are responders and initiators. Many times we have boundary problems because we lack initiative---the God given ability to propel ourselves into life. We respond to invitations and push ourselves into life.
--The best boundaries are formed when a child pushes against his world naturally while that world is setting limits on him. Example of Joshua standing on the edge of the road.
--The aggressive child has learned his limits without losing his or her spirit. This is so important, our spiritual and emotional well-being depends on our having this spirit.
Matthew 25:14-18 (NKJV)
14 "For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them.
15 And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey.
16 Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents.
17 And likewise he who had received two gained two more also.
18 But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord's money.
14 "For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them.
15 And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey.
16 Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents.
17 And likewise he who had received two gained two more also.
18 But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord's money.
--Notice the ones in this parable who were successful were the ones who were active and assertive. They initiated and pushed themselves to do something with what the master had given them.
--The guy who lost out was the one who was passive and had no action. The sad thing is that many people who are passive are not bad people or evil. Key – many times evil grows where there is passivity.
Proverbs 19:15 (NCV)
15 Lazy people sleep a lot, and idle people will go hungry.
15 Lazy people sleep a lot, and idle people will go hungry.
--Being passive and lazy never pays off…God will match our effort but He will not do our work for us. He would be crossing boundaries to do this. He wants us to be active asking, seeking, and knocking.
--The one in the parable who buried what God gave him paid a severe price for his inactivity. The sin God rebukes is not trying and failing but failing to try at all.
--Trying, failing, and trying again is called learning. Failing to try never produces anything good.
Hebrews 10:38-39 (NLT2)
38 And my righteous ones will live by faith. But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away.”
39 But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved.
38 And my righteous ones will live by faith. But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away.”
39 But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved.
--When we see how destructive passivity is to the soul and how God does not tolerate it…He wants our souls to be saved. That is the role of boundaries, they define and preserve our property, our soul.
--I have heard that when a baby bird is ready to hatch, if you break the shell for him, he will die. The bird must peck his way into the world.
--This aggressive work out strengthens the bird, allowing it to function in the outside world. If we rob it of this responsibility, it will die.
--I believe this is how God has made us. If He cracks our shell, does the work for us, invades our boundaries, we will die. We must not turn back from life’s challenges but actively pursue God and His will.
3. The Law of Exposure
--A boundary is a property line. It defines where you begin and end. We have been trying to communicate why we need such a line in our lives.
--Probably the most important reason that we need boundaries is because we do not live in a vacuum. You live in relation to God and to people. Your boundaries define you in relationship to others.
--Boundaries are really about relationship and it is about love. That is why the law of exposure is so important. Our boundaries need to be made clear to those around us.
--We just dealt with a situation with a person who had someone trespass on their boundaries but the problem was that the person doing the trespassing did not know there were boundary lines in this area.
--If our boundaries are not clear to those around us or if we do not make our boundaries clear because of fear or insecurity, don’t be surprised when you are constantly hurt and frustrated.
--God expects us in our relationships to communicate our boundaries to others in love. When your boundaries are clear and out in the open, it will be easier to say no to people. No one needs secret boundaries.
Matthew 5:37 (NKJV)
37 But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
37 But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
--We have all seen relationships where it seems everything was great for 20 or 30 years and all of a sudden they express their boundaries by filing for a divorce.
--Maybe it is with kids where we keep giving to them over and over again resenting it the whole time. The kids grow up not feeling loved because of the lack of honesty and clear boundaries.
--Everyone loses when the parents who are filled with resentment throws up to the kids “after all we have done for you and this is how you treat us.” Clear boundaries needed to be communicated.
Ephesians 4:25-27 (NCV)
25 So you must stop telling lies. Tell each other the truth, because we all belong to each other in the same body.
26 When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day.
27 Do not give the devil a way to defeat you.
25 So you must stop telling lies. Tell each other the truth, because we all belong to each other in the same body.
26 When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day.
27 Do not give the devil a way to defeat you.
--The law of exposure tells us that our boundaries must be out in the open for everyone to see, we must value relationships enough to be honest, and we must operate in love.
--Don’t be surprised when people break the rules when they do not know what they are. As a reminder from last week:
Matthew 7:13-14 (NKJV)
13 "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.
14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
13 "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.
14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
