Boundaries - 2

Boundaries - 2

Subject – Our Lives are a Matter of Boundaries

by Rick Welborne

Proverbs 22:28 (NKJV)
²⁸  Do not remove the ancient landmark Which your fathers have set. 

Galatians 6:1-5 (NKJV)
¹  Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
²  Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
³  For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
⁴  But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
⁵  For each one shall bear his own load. 

--Last week we started this series on boundaries and I believe we have much to learn about having clear boundaries for ourselves and for those we deal with. Let’s jump in!

Cloud and Townsend – Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.

--Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. If I know where my yard begins and ends, I am free to do with it what I like. Why our world is such a mess.

--People want freedom of speech as long as it what they want to hear. They set up artificial boundaries then get offended when people cross them. Why we need the Word of God to be our standard.

--Taking responsibility for my own life opens up many different options. However, if I do no not own my life, my choices and options become very limited. We let others own us.

--Think about this…how confusing would it be if someone told you to “guard this property diligently, because I will hold you responsible for what happens here” but they didn’t tell you the boundaries of the property.

--Or maybe they did not give you the authority or the means with which to protect the property. This would not only be confusing but it also could be very dangerous.

--This is exactly what happens to us emotionally and spiritually. God has designed a world where we all live “within” ourselves; that is, we inhabit our own souls, and we are responsible for the things that make up “us”. 

Proverbs 14:10 (NLT2)
¹⁰  Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy. 

--In other words, we have to deal with what is in our soul, and boundaries help us define what that is. If we are not shown parameters, or are taught wrong parameters, we are in for much pain.

--The Bible tells us clearly what our parameters are and how to protect them, but often our family, or past relationships, confuse us about our parameters. 

--Think about it…many people have to deal with boundaries being set by parents who are unbelievers or immature believers, friends, or church. Again this is why God’s Word is so important.

--In addition, to showing us what we are responsible for, boundaries help us to define what is not our property and what we are not responsible for. We are not, for example, responsible for other people. 

--Nowhere are we commanded to be in control of others although we spend a lot of time and energy trying to get it. Some people live to control and manipulate others. 

1. I am responsible “to” you but I am not responsible “for” you. 

--We are responsible to others and for ourselves. Please explain, Pastor. Look at this verse that shows our responsibility “to” one another. 

Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)
²  Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

--We all see it when we notice others who have “burdens” that are too big to bear. They do not have enough strength, resources, or knowledge to carry these burdens, and they need help.

--As we deny ourselves to do for others what they cannot do for themselves we are showing the sacrificial love of Christ. This is exactly what Christ did for us.

--He did what we could not do for ourselves; He saved us. This is being responsible “to”. Thank God, He did what we could not do! Amen! On the other hand, listen to verse 5:

Galatians 6:5 (NKJV)
⁵  For each one shall bear his own load. 

--Everyone has responsibilities that only he or she can carry. These things are our own particular “load” that we need to take daily responsibility for and work out. 

--No one can do certain things for us. We have to take ownership of certain aspects of life that are our own “load”. The Greek words burden and load give us insight into the meaning of this text.

--The Greek word for burden means “excess burdens,” or burdens that are so heavy that they weigh us down. These burdens are like boulders. They can crush us. 

--We should not be expected to carry a boulder by ourselves! It would break our backs. We need help with the boulders—those times of crisis and tragedy in our lives. 

--In contrast, the Greek word for load means “cargo” or the burden of daily toil. This word describes the every day things we all need to do. These loads are like backpacks. Backpacks are possible to carry. 

--We are expected to carry our own. We are expected to deal with our own feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, as well as the responsibilities God has given to each one of us, even though it takes effort. Last week:

2 Thessalonians 3:10-13 (NLT2)
¹⁰  Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”
¹¹  Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business.
¹²  We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living.
¹³  As for the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good. 

--These verses give us an example of our daily loads…working is not a boulder, it is a backpack. Stop acting like being responsible and working is too hard. Get a life and get a job. Bear your own load. 

--Problems arise when people act as if their “boulders” are daily loads, and refuse help (drugs), or as if their “daily loads” are boulders they shouldn’t have to carry. The results of these two instances are either perpetual pain or irresponsibility. 

--Unless we want to stay in pain or become irresponsible, it is important to determine what “me” is, where my boundary of responsibility is and where someone else’s begin. 

2. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. 

--Boundaries help us to distinguish our property so that we can take care of it. We need to keep things that will nurture us inside our fences and keep things that will harm us outside. Fences protect our hearts.

Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV)
²³  Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. 

--We need to protect our hearts by establishing boundaries or fences and in doing so you will guard your treasure (your pearls) so that people will not steal them. 

Matthew 7:6 (NLT2)
⁶  “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.

--What an analogy…people will cross lines to steal from you and if that is not bad enough, then, they will turn on you and attack you. Young ladies, be careful giving your treasure away…soon those who took it will attack.

Cloud and Townsend – Sometimes, we have bad on the inside and good on the outside. In these instances, we need to be able to open up our boundaries to let the good in and the bad out. In other words, our fences need gates in them. 

--Let’s say that I have some pain or sin inside, I need to open up and communicate this problem to God and to others so I can be healed. 

--Confessing pain and sin helps get the sin “out” so that it does not continue to poison me on the inside. 

James 5:16 (NLT2)
¹⁶  Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

--When the good is on the outside, we need to open our gates and “let it in”. Jesus shows us this in Rev. 3:20 when He says He stands and the door and knocks…we need to let Him in.

--God places good people in our lives who have wonderful things they want to give us and we need to open up to them and let those things in. Our pride often keeps us from being blessed. 

2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (NLT2)
¹¹  Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you.
¹²  There is no lack of love on our part, but you have withheld your love from us.
¹³  I am asking you to respond as if you were my own children. Open your hearts to us!

--So often God sends people to deposit good things in our lives but we close the boundaries or we will not open the gates, therefore we live in a state of deprivation. 

Please understand this, boundaries are not walls. The Bible does not say that we are to be walled off from others; in fact, it says we are to be one with them. 

John 17:11 (NKJV)
¹¹  Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are.

--We are to be in community with them. But in every community, all members have their own space and property. Each has their own load. We often misunderstand this.

--The important thing is that the property lines must be permeable (able to let people in or keep them out). They must be strong enough to keep out unwanted danger. 

--Sadly, when people are abused while growing up, they reverse the functions of boundaries. They keep the bad in and the good out. Boundary lines get blurry and people tend to hold the pain inside.

--Many times people like this will not open up and let in support from the outside that could bring them healing. Mysteriously, people like this also allow others to dump their junk on them causing more pain to their soul.

--They must be willing to reverse the boundaries and understand they need fences strong enough to keep the bad out. They need gates in those fences to let the bad out inside of them and let the good in they desperately need. 

3. Our boundaries or fences need a gate.

--Many times we have said in this message that our fences, our boundaries, need a gate to keep bad out and to keep good in.

--Wow, whoever this gate is has to be strong, wise, discerning and has an important responsibility of managing this process of what is entering and exiting. 

John 10:7-10 (NIV)
⁷  Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep.
⁸  All who ever came before Me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them.
⁹  I am the gate; whoever enters through Me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.
¹⁰  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

--Jesus said I am the Gate! That is pretty emphatic. We have tried to manage this process and we have done a horrible job. We refuse to get the bad out and we refuse to let the good in. 

--Jesus said whoever came before me were thieves and robbers…who came before Him? Let’s be honest about who came before him…who was it? It was us. The devil influenced us but it was us.

--Lordship tells me I have to give ownership of my fences, my boundaries, and my yard to Jesus. He will make sure no one enters who shouldn’t and He allows in what and who needs to come in. God has limits Himself.

Cloud and Townsend – God also limits what He will allow in His yard. He confronts sin and allows consequences for behavior. He guards His house and will not allow evil things to go on there. He invites people in who will love him, and he lets His love flow outward to them at the same time. The “gates” of His boundaries open and close appropriately. 

--Pastor, I cannot control the gates of my life…it is impossible for me. Me too! I cannot control my gates either. You need and I need an advocate, a mediator, someone who can manage our gates. 

1 Timothy 2:3-6 (NKJV)
³  For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior,
⁴  who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
⁵  For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus,
⁶  who gave Himself a ransom for all…

--Jesus is the Gate of our boundaries.