Boundaries – 6
Subject – Laws of Boundaries
Rick Welborne
Galatians 6:1-8 (NKJV)
1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
--Last week we talked about the first law of boundaries and today we will look at more of those laws. Last week we looked at this law:
The Law of Sowing and Reaping
Galatians 6:5 (NKJV)
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
Cloud and Townsend – Rescuing a person from the natural consequences of his behavior enables him to continue in irresponsible behavior. The Law of Sowing and Reaping has not been repealed. It is still operating. But the doer is not suffering the consequences; someone else is.
--Today let’s look at as many of these laws as we can:
1. The Law of Responsibility
--The law of responsibility always includes loving others. The commandment to love is the entire law for Christians.
Galatians 5:13-14 (NKJV)
13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
--Anytime you are not loving others, you are not taking full responsibility for yourself, you have disowned your own heart.
--Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused, we are to love one another, not try to be one another. I can’t feel your feelings for you, I can’t think for you. I can’t behave for you.
--I can’t work through the disappointment that limits bring for you. In short, I can’t grow for you; only you can. Likewise, you can’t grow for me. We are mandated by scriptures to take personal responsibility.
Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)
12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
--Don’t miss this…you are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself.
--Not only are we to take personal responsibility, another theme in the Bible is to treat others the way you want to be treated. When you are down, helpless, and without hope you would want someone to intervene.
--This is being responsible “to”. Another aspect of being responsible “to” is not only in the helping of others but also in the setting of limits on another’s destructive and irresponsible behavior.
--Again, it is not good to rescue someone from the consequences of their sin. You will just have to do it again. You have just reinforced the pattern. Man driving drunk to his court date.
Proverbs 19:18-19 (NIV)
18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
19 A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.
18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
19 A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.
--It is the same principle spoken of in raising a child; it is hurtful to not have limits with him or her. It leads them to destruction.
Proverbs 23:13-14 (NIV)
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
--Because there is no taking of personal responsibility and because we have bought into this non-biblical idea of no disciple…kids run wild and we wonder why.
Proverbs 29:17-18 (NLT2)
17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
18 When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.
17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
18 When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.
2. The Law of Power
--As churches adopt Twelve Step Programs, people in therapy and recovery voice a common confusion…Am I powerless over my behavior? If I am, how can I become responsible? What do I have the power to do?
--The Bible and Twelve Step programs teach us that people must admit that they have failed morally. Alcoholics admit that they are powerless over alcohol. No self-control. The Apostle Paul:
Romans 7:15, 18-19, 23 (NLT2)
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.
--Unless you have been there and done that, it is hard to understand how powerless you feel. When a doctor looks into your bloodshot eyes and says either quit or die, and you think, I am going to die. Powerless.
--The Word says that all of us are pretty much in that place:
1 John 1:8 (NKJV) 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
--Even though you do not have the power in and of yourself to overcome these addictions, you do have the power to do some things that can lead you to freedom.
A. You have the power to agree with the truth about your problem.
--The Bible calls this confession. To confess means you agree with. This is a beginning place for people to be set free. They must be able to admit they have a serious problem.
B. You have the power to submit your inability to God.
--You have the power to humble yourself and to ask for help. You may not be able to make yourself well but you can call the doctor. If we confess, believe, and ask for help God will do what you cannot do.
1 John 1:9 (NKJV)
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
C. You have the power to seek and ask God, and even others, for revelation about what your boundaries should be.
Matthew 7:7-8 (NKJV)
7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
D. You have the power to turn from the evil that you find within you.
--This is called repentance. This is turning from your sin and turning to God. This doesn’t mean you will be perfect but it shows you really want to change and set new boundaries.
E. You have the power to humble yourself and ask God and others to help you.
--What beautiful things begin to happen in a person’s life when they humble themselves before God and people.
--We all have wounds and scars from childhood and past relationships but humbling ourselves guarantees we are on the right path. God is just waiting on us to humbly approach His throne.
F. You have the power to seek out those whom you may have injured and make amends.
--Obviously this has to be done with great wisdom. If you were wild in your past it probably not a good idea to try to contact everyone you messed around with. But in the church:
Matthew 5:23-24 (NKJV)
23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
--One of the greatest boundary prayers:
Serenity Prayer – God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Cloud and Townsend – God, clarify my boundaries! You can work on submitting yourself to the process and working with God to change you. You cannot change others. More people suffer from trying to change others than any other sickness. And it is impossible.
--An amazing thing happens when you let go of others, you begin to get healthy. You need the wisdom to know what is you and what is not you. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what you have the power to change and what you do not.
3. The Law of Respect
--We hear from people often who say…if I set boundaries or if I say no to them they will reject me. They get angry if I set limits. They will not talk to me if I tell them what boundaries are.
--We are so afraid that others will not respect our boundaries. We focus so much on others that we lose clarity about ourselves.
--Since I have been doing this series I have had a lady in our church (this situation proves she is a lady) come to me and share how she was dating a man who wanted to cross her boundaries as a Christian.
--Sadly many in the church are so much like the world that they do not have boundaries in this area but she said no to him. He said, if you say no I will have to go…she said go! Good for her, God has someone better.
--One of our problems is that we have a tendency to judge other people’s boundaries. We think things like:
“How could that person not come to my meeting, my ministry, or my Tupperware party…whatever they were doing could not be more important than this. We are all sacrificing to be here.”
“How could you say no to me about loaning me money. You know I will pay it back.”
“With all I do for you, it seems like you could do this one little thing for me.”
--We judge other’s boundaries when we really do not know what they are. Maybe they have committed the night of your meeting to family or date night with their spouse.
--Maybe one of their boundaries is not to loan money to people because money has a way of hurting family or friends. Maybe the favor you are asking for is just not possible at that time. Respect their boundaries.
Cloud and Townsend – We need to respect the boundaries of others. We need to love the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. We need to treat their boundaries the way we want them to treat ours. If we love and respect people who tell us no, they will love and respect our no. Freedom begets freedom.
Matthew 7:12 (NKJV)
12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
--If we are walking in the Spirit, we will give people the freedom to make their own choices. Sure, some people are lazy and some should be at your meeting, but allow God to be the judge not you.
--It should not be that we ask, are they doing what I would do or what I want them to do but are they free to make their own choices. Never withdraw your love from others when they set boundaries.
1 John 4:10-12 (NLT2)
10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.
12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.
12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
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