Boundaries – 5
Subject – Laws of Boundaries
by Rick Welborne
Galatians 6:1-8 (NKJV)
1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
--Last week we talked about the safe boundaries of being in covenant relationships in the body of Christ. We all need the safety of the church.
--Today we are going to look at the laws of boundaries and how important those laws are for us to obey them.
1. The Law of Sowing and Reaping
--We learned in school growing up the law that was called cause and effect. The Bible calls this law the law of sowing and reaping. You reap what you sow.
--It is not God’s intention to punish us by this law but He is simply telling us how things are. If you smoke, there is a good chance you will get lung cancer and suffer a whole lot.
--If you overspend you will probably get lots of calls from creditors which may feel like harassment and you may have to do without lots of necessities.
--If you are a person who attempts to eat well, exercise regularly, and get enough rest…you will be generally healthier than the person who doesn’t.
--People who do not do this can always point out the one example of someone who did all that and got really sick. My doctor introduced me to a new doctor…this is one of my really healthy patients.
--People say they want to get in shape but their lifestyle does not indicate that they are serious about it. Crispy Crème Donuts and fried chicken are not a plan of getting in shape. Round is a shape!
--Here’s the problem…sometimes people do not reap what they have sown. Why? Someone else steps in and reaps the consequences for them.
--If every time you overspend your parents send you money to bail you out, you will not be reaping what you have sown.
--Your parents would be protecting you from the natural and biblical consequences of sowing and reaping. The law of sowing and reaping can be interrupted.
--You can interrupt the law of gravity by catching an item that falls off a table or counter top. One time in my dad’s shop I was looking for something and I was barefooted. What?
--Something fell, and because it was kind of dark, I did not see what it was. I made a split second decision to catch whatever it was with my foot. Bad decision. It was a paper knife. Ouch! Stuck in my big toe!
--Just like we can interrupt gravity by catching something, we can interrupt the law of sowing and reaping in our kids’ lives by bailing them out. We find ourselves rescuing irresponsible people.
Galatians 6:5 (NKJV)
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
--Sadly, it is people with no boundaries who does the rescuing.
Cloud and Townsend – Rescuing a person from the natural consequences of his behavior enables him to continue in irresponsible behavior. The Law of Sowing and Reaping has not been repealed. It is still operating. But the doer is not suffering the consequences; someone else is.
--I have watched a retired couple on a fixed income re-finance their home that was paid off for $40,000 to bail out an irresponsible grandson who was going to jail.
--They interrupted the law of sowing and reaping to help someone who did not appreciate their help. How do you know they did not appreciate it? They went to jail anyway on other charges.
--Sadly they ended up in greater debt, struggled to pay their bills, could not bless the church or missions as much, and the brat did not learn his lesson.
--We call a person who continually rescues another person a codependent. The codependent suffers while the brat has it good. Remember…they are watering his grass while theirs is dying.
--Establishing boundaries helps codependent people stop interrupting the law of sowing and reaping in their loved one’s life. Boundaries force the person who is doing the sowing to also do the reaping.
--Pastor, I have confronted the person. Confronting is not the same thing as allowing the law to kick in. He will only think you are nagging. Confronting him is not enough pain to make him change.
Proverbs 9:8 (NIV)
8 Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
8 Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
--Here’s the point…stop interrupting the law of sowing and reaping. Let God’s principles work and watch what He does in their lives.
2. The Law of Responsibility
--The law of responsibility always includes loving others. The commandment to love is the entire law for Christians.
Galatians 5:13-14 (NKJV)
13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
--Anytime you are not loving others, you are not taking full responsibility for yourself, you have disowned your own heart.
--Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused, we are to love one another, not try to be one another. I can’t feel your feelings for you, I can’t think for you. I can’t behave for you.
--I can’t work through the disappointment that limits bring for you. In short, I can’t grow for you; only you can. Likewise, you can’t grow for me. We are mandated by scriptures to take personal responsibility.
Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)
12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
--Don’t miss this…you are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself.
--Not only are we to take personal responsibility, another theme in the Bible is to treat others the way you want to be treated. When you are down, helpless, and without hope you would want someone to intervene.
--This is being responsible “to”. Another aspect of being responsible “to” is not only in the helping of others but also in the setting of limits on another’s destructive and irresponsible behavior.
--Again, it is not good to rescue someone from the consequences of their sin. You will just have to do it again. You have just reinforced the pattern. Man driving drunk to his court date.
Proverbs 19:18-19 (NIV)
18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
19 A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.
18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
19 A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.
--It is the same principle spoken of in raising a child; it is hurtful to not have limits with him or her. It leads them to destruction.
Proverbs 23:13-14 (NIV)
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
--Because there is no taking of personal responsibility and because we have bought into this non-biblical idea of no disciple…kids run wild and we wonder why.
Proverbs 29:17-18 (NLT2)
17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
18 When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.
17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
18 When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.
3. The Law of Power
--As churches adopt Twelve Step Programs, people in therapy and recovery voice a common confusion…Am I powerless over my behavior? If I am, how can I become responsible? What do I have the power to do?
--The Bible and Twelve Step programs teach us that people must admit that they have failed morally. Alcoholics admit that they are powerless over alcohol. No self-control. The Apostle Paul:
Romans 7:15, 18-19, 23 (NLT2)
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.
--Unless you have been there and done that, it is hard to understand how powerless you feel. When a doctor looks into your bloodshot eyes and says either quit or die, and you think, I am going to die. Powerless.
--The Word says that all of us are pretty much in that place:
1 John 1:8 (NKJV) 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
--Even though you do not have the power in and of yourself to overcome these addictions, you do have the power to do some things that can lead you to freedom.
A. You have the power to agree with the truth about your problem.
--The Bible calls this confession. To confess means you agree with. This is a beginning place for people to be set free. They must be able to admit they have a serious problem.
B. You have the power to submit your inability to God.
--You have the power to humble yourself and to ask for help. You may not be able to make yourself well but you can call the doctor. If we confess, believe, and ask for help God will do what you cannot do.
1 John 1:9 (NKJV)
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
C. You have the power to seek and ask God, and even others, for revelation about what your boundaries should be.
Matthew 7:7-8 (NKJV)
7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
D. You have the power to turn from the evil that you find within you.
--This is called repentance. This is turning from your sin and turning to God. This doesn’t mean you will be perfect but it shows you really want to change and set new boundaries.
E. You have the power to humble yourself and ask God and others to help you.
--What beautiful things begin to happen in a person’s life when they humble themselves before God and people.
--We all have wounds and scars from childhood and past relationships but humbling ourselves guarantees we are on the right path. God is just waiting on us to humbly approach His throne.
F. You have the power to seek out those whom you may have injured and make amends.
--Obviously this has to be done with great wisdom. If you were wild in your past it probably not a good idea to try to contact everyone you messed around with. But in the church:
Matthew 5:23-24 (NKJV)
23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
--One of the greatest boundary prayers:
Serenity Prayer – God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Cloud and Townsend – God, clarify my boundaries! You can work on submitting yourself to the process and working with God to change you. You cannot change others. More people suffer from trying to change others than any other sickness. And it is impossible.
--An amazing thing happens when you let go of others, you begin to get healthy. You need the wisdom to know what is you and what is not you. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what you have the power to change and what you do not.
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